I have no idea how you spun your web and tangled me yet again, though this time is quite different. I have been telling you for 3 weeks when my birthday was, we spoke all night Thursday you seemed pretty clear that you understood this was my birthday weekend, when I called you Friday, you were so unsure we cancelled. I was furious at you….you always have a way to make it all better, but do you really?
You make promises but never keep them actions speak louder than words, and your promises mean nothing. You think I am in love with you, guess what I am. You told me you really wanted to see me, that if I came to you, you could guarantee I had a perfect birthday, well my birthday was far from perfect but it was great without you.
You have broken my heart in so many ways. When I told you if you did not show on Saturday for my birthday I was never speaking to you again, then you gave me some sob story and said you would make it up to me, and that you really wanted to see me, and you really liked me, but this just was not a good time for you.
We have not seen each other in 7 months, we live 8 hours away from each other, we are worlds apart, so why am I still hanging on? Why are you? When I send you your stuff back, it’s because I will no longer need a reminder of you, I will never love anyone the way i loved you, you have this piece of my heart that you will have forever. Why would you ask me why I would love someone like you. You are the most sensitive man, when I say things that are mean you fuse them in the sweetest way. I was about to tell you I hated you so much and I am glad I didn’t. I liked that you took a break from our argument and came back an hour later, you knew how mad I was at you.
Now I am worried you will never speak to me again, so I text you again last night to tell you I forgive you, and still want to be your friend and maybe I over react but you bring out all my wildest emotions and you have so much control over them. You always say the right things, I know you are honest with me. Someone told me sometimes even people in love cannot be together and I just cannot compute that yet. One day I will see it, not just because of our vast age difference I will understand- that you may love someone, and not be able to be with them.
When I was your age I went back and fourth with a relationship for 7 years, I cannot do that now, I know what love is, and I love you with my whole heart. Even though we are so different, i love that the most. our differences are what make me love you more than you will ever know. I just feel this connection to you.