Here’s a point-by-point rebuttal from a guy’s point of view.
2. Which is sick and gross, and also unfortunate. That aspect alone should probably rule it out as a potential bedroom activity.
3. Totally. Time and a place. Anal sex should be addressed over morning coffee, during a walk in the woods, or via text. Definitely prior to, and not during, the act of coitus.
4. We all have to compromise sometimes and please people in ways that aren’t necessarily self-fulfilling or enjoyable. The point is for everyone to be on the same page and entirely physically and emotionally comfortable with the situation. If anal sex gets taken off the table, what can replace it so that everyone is happy? Or maybe it’s a one-time deal. Or once a year on your birthday type of situation.
5. yes. agreed.
6. yes. agreed. so with lubrication & condoms it’s back on the intercourse agenda?
7. Here’s the main point of contention. Variety is essential. You might have the greatest vagina in the world. Most guys will still tire of doing the same thing over & over again. Keep it interesting at least. If a rendezvous between cock & anus just isn’t in the cards, propose a suitable, if less humiliating and painful alternative. Is anal sex more or less desirable to having a guy cheating on you? I realize that these are unfair choices. Maybe repeated requests for anal sex are a guy’s way of communicating being a little bored in a relationship or hook-up or friends with benefits scenario. Rock his world in other ways.
8. yes. agreed.
9. There’s an implicit power dynamic and subtle to not-so-subtle air of homoeroticism around the act of anal sex. Maybe anal sex is permissible so long as it goes both ways. Perhaps you propose to return the favor and see how interested the guy happens to be in being fucked in the ass himself?
10. Call me?