It’s been almost ten years since we first met. In ten years I’ve forgotten so much of the everyday things I’ve done. When I move house and find little momentos of these things I’m amazed by how much can lay dormant in my brain awaiting a little trigger.
I still remember that night we met, and so many little things from that night act as triggers. Cranberry Juice. A red beret. Town Hall steps. The buzz of the air in springtime at dusk.
The way you danced, the cheeky smile and the natural groove. I could see you knew how to find the rhythm in the music and match it to your body’s way.
When I see a girl dancing for attention, scripted by the latest filmclip and seeming all out is sync, I think of you. I think of how natural and vital you were and I see my girlfriend at the time trying to dance away her sadness. I tried the best I could to hide the effect you’d had on me, but she knew. She could see the change in my face.
From that night everything about you echoes through my day. The passion for social change and the care of others. The way you can step in with both feet. Your concern with your weight and my insensitive comments. I couldn’t understand your worry because you are perfect to me.
We had times together that will always stay with me, even if I get old timers and can’t remember my name, I’ll remember them.
The night you came back to kiss me.
I couldn’t because I knew how much he loved you too.
I couldn’t because I didn’t think I could be what you deserved.
I should’ve, but I wasn’t brave enough to jump with both feet.
Now you live in a place I’d love to be. On the other side of the world. Where my sister found and lost her true love.
I remember thinking that when all the busy years had flown, we’d find eachother again. I thought that in time the poles would flip. We’ll fit together in cuddles and my mind will no longer be dormant.