Posts Tagged ‘passion’

I believe everyone comes into our lives to teach us something. Our marriage break up was the result of me realizing I was living a lie. I don’t know that you realize, how your coming into my life, taught me about passion and finding my personal truth: that perfect match of personal potential meeting desire and drive. A life that is full of effort but feels effortless. It’s like when the wind fills a sail and suddenly the boat takes off. The thrill of being one with the wind is amazing, effortless, guided by a force that is beyond and bigger than you or your boat.

I spent almost 30 years not listening to or being connected to my true self. Instead, I devoted all of my energy to our Christian marriage I anesthetized my soul by strictly adhering to our marriage vows. I told myself “I must be content”. I confused being lonely and hopeless as having some deep spiritual longing that needed to be controlled with prayer and Bible study.

After 27 years with you, when I was recovering from surgery, in vulnerable moment, I told myself the Truth. I no longer had the energy to continue living a lie. Connecting to my truth meant the beginning of the end of us. Our divorce was inevitable. It became very clear that you and I were going in two very different directions. I couldn’t deny the lies I had told myself about the marriage. You can’t un-ring the bell.

Ironically, I couldn’t have discovered my passion, my truth, without the contrast of living a lie for almost 30 years. Divorcing you meant, I, also, divorced my old self and walked away from my old life. Our marriage was my necessary path to learning the Truth. By breaking up the marriage, my soul caught the wind and I sailed into the life I was meant to live.

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If the god of the Sea should call to you,
Beware to heed this entreat, it sounds

Innocent like gulls and harbor bells
He means for you to drown.

In condensation circles he draws your fate
While you sit patiently and wait

Imagining you make a choice,
That you could walk away

You’re caught up in the crashing wave
Churning effortlessly, green and grey.

With darkest eyes five fathoms deep,
He leads you further still

And by the time you sense the undertow
He’s reaching for the bill.

The ocean’s ebb he makes like night air
Swirling around your head

Your hair whips round, it seems like speed,
But you’re sinking lower then.

The stirred up sand glints like stars in the sky
As he gently leads you deep

Where coral and crenellated seaweed fronds
Appear like furniture and boxwood leafs.

And you think it’s wine that sways you
But it’s already the swell

That’s filled your lungs and soaked your eyes
In an underwater cell.

He tells you he likes music,
But the Sirens work for him

It’s their job to sing to you
While he tugs your body back to shore

Not noticing the sea water
Still seeping from your pores

Driving home, your legs are damp
With passion, so you say

But he’s risen the surf up over your head
And floated you away.

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